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Rise and GoMonday June 30, 2014
Eyes wide open,
(Oh) It's going to be the death of me,
Why does life always leave me broken?
I stare at the girl in the mirror,
Her closest friend lies in her hand,
On my skin it will land,
I close my eyes hating the way I appear.
The question is "how deep do you go before it's real?"
To this day I feel like I'll never know,
When will this rise and go?
Depression has chose my life to steal.
Will I always believe what they all say?
Maybe I'll live to find out,
Or maybe an ambulance will song my life away,
My choices and happening will lead the route.
The voices repeat in my head,
I've gotten used to what they've said,
Will they ever disappear?
But you know those small moments of believe you're beautiful?
(Oh) Mine don't last that long,
My brain always comes back to reality knowing something's wrong,
My heart try's to stay truthful,
But it sometimes needs a getaway,
Truth is a place it's scared to always sta
No other fish in the seaEveryone says there's other fish in the sea,
She tells them they don't understand,
He was her sea.
In the beginning he stood out to her the most,
The things she sees,
The things she heard,
It all brings up thoughts of him.
Each kiss she's taken,
None were as perfect as his,
Each hug shes given or received,
They are far from perfect as his,
Each hand she's held,
None fit perfectly as his,
Each guy she's met,
Will never be as perfect as him.
The question of whyHe thought I didn't believe him,
He thought I was thinking he was lying,
Honestly I didn't want to believe it,
It only makes everything hurt more,
If he cares,
Why'd he tell me all those horrible things?
Why'd he keep throwing me around?
If he thought of me while with her,
Why isn't he mine?
If all the meaningful words he spoke were true,
Why can't we work this out?
Why can't I understand to move on?
All that remains is the question of why.
His whispers in my earThe voice in my head tells me it's all my fault,
I reach for the friend I used to be close to,
A distant voice whispers in my ear,
"You're stronger than this,"
Hands shake in confusion,
Which choice am I going to pick?
My head tells me "He's the one you let go,"
Tears explode into waves,
My anchor has exploded into thin air,
"Stop thinking this way, darling you're better than this" he whispers,
My stomach is severely tied into knots,
I push away the friend and stay assail at sea,
My head groans in an ache and I feel him smile through a whisper,
"I'm proud of you, cookie."
Late on the CueHe claims that I'm so strong,
Well I can only be so strong for so long,
The waves keep crashing in my heart,
It hurts to know that we're officially apart,
My thoughts keep me up through the night,
I wish I could have kept up the fight,
Would there have been any words to keep us alive?
I guess your heart wasn't able to survive,
You got tired of going through our storm,
You were ready to go somewhere warm,
All I wanted was to start new,
But I was too late to give you the cue.
Fade awayWhen I do sleep,
I dream of you,
Your arms holding me,
It shines as the rays of the sun,
Your fingers going through my hair,
The slow moment of feeling safe,
Then your lips kiss my forehead,
And you begin to fade away,
I put my hands out to catch you,
But you've already disappeared.
The sound of confusionHow am I supposed to move on?
When you are my other half.
My heart has fallen on the floor,
I no longer need it anymore,
Wishing I never screwed up,
Everything would seem better,
How can I stop myself from looking into your eyes and getting lost?
Your words spoken to me have meant more than you'll ever know,
You were always the sound I heard whispering in my ear when I did something wrong,
But how am I supposed to have the strength to listen to it?
You were always the life buoy to my motivation,
All my wounds are exposed,
What's going to be my bandaid strong enough to cover the wounds?
When will I know when this will end?
When will this damage be healed?
A broken recordBack and forth they went,
From Hellos to goodbyes,
I love you to I care about you,
She's heard this a thousand times,
And seen it all before,
She feels like this is a broken record,
With events happening over and over again,
She wants the record to be fixed,
But there's nothing to do but listen,
Listen closely to what could be left,
All you hear is the endless lyrics being repeated,
The thing you have feared most,
The broken record,
It had to be put away on a shelf,
The last lyrics ending,
"Goodbye to my love, and hello to the start of a thing I fear called friendship."
The old enemyIt's your old friend that's keeping you awake,
Nothing to face but glares,
How can you run back to something that brought you into the darkness?
They betrayed your goal of happiness,
Caused you to loose the beautiful smiles that were always on your face,
But your old friend is calling your name,
Whispering "I'll help you through this,"
In the end it'll only be your enemy,
You stare at hem face to face,
You realize its nothing to replace.
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
Blocking the thoughts"it's all a joke"
I want to go running for the danger.
"You know you need it"
I shake the thoughts away.
"your not really strong"
I turn my music up.
"Go ahead and grab it"
I throw it across my room.
"The pain is your medicine"
I turn the music up louder.
I pick my phone up,
And remember what i know is true.
[transmissions of a dead girl]i am the
moon: i am
the silver pill
to weigh down
into leaden eyes--
i am the
of the dark.
the stars are
all dead in their
you'll be safe, dear,
as i am the moon,
with all of your
(i am good bye and yet,
you think only of romantic
i am the moon.
i am the crescent
and dead altogether,
i still die.
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