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Patience comes before FreedomThis is all for her,
She’s never acted like she gave a damn about me,
If she would've raised me like she should have,
She would have an understanding of who I really am,
Don’t you fathom what will be in a year to come?
I don’t think she’ll ever come to sense about her actions.
I want her to stop and think,
Think of all the times she’s stole from me,
Can she save her poisoned breath?
It’ll only be a waste of her time.
Dreams of hearing her heart slowing down to the seconds of death,
But I need her alive,
Ears and eyes clear and open,
So she can feel every moment when I break her heart into pieces.
Will I be free soon?
Free to live without my fears?
How soon can I hear this prayer I pray each night?
I so want to believe,
So I can stay strong for another year,
Another year believing it’ll get better.
My head it telling me to be the woman,
That can understand,
One that can learn to become more patient in the stressful event in life,
To be free,
You're the reasonPeople may think it's crazy,
But I've been walking through rain I thought would never end,
You came along like the light at the end of a storm,
The first sound of your laugh made my heart melt,
You make me feel like I've never felt before,
Something told me that I knew you weren't just some boy who'd spoken to me.
Oh love, you're the reason my heart is beating,
You're the reason for the smile on my face,
You're the reason I still believe,
You're the reason I still have hope,
Oh baby, you're the reason I still have my feet anchored to the ground.
Heart BeatingIt all began with a smile,
And the next thing I knew,
It was making me feel wild,
The look in his eyes,
That moment I know as the world begins to fade away,
The way my hand fits in his,
It's like finally finding the missing piece to a puzzle,
His arms around me feels like home,
His lips pressed against mine make me never want to let go,
Noticing the way we act like total dorks.
Or the way he cares about me,
Thats when I knew,
That my heart was beating for him.
PrisonStuck in a prison,
When am I going to be called for bail?
Every time you touch me it burns like fire,
Your voice feels like poison in my ears,
Your words mean nothing to me,
Your presence gives off a vibe of a prison guard.
Judgement is thrown all around,
Glares of embarrassment,
I'm ready for you to go back down below,
For the devil to come knocking on your door,
So all this pain can fade away.
Being bailed out will be the start of better days,
And the prison guard will be out of control.
Safe HarborFinally found my safe harbor,
You're the anchor I've dropped in the ocean,
With you all my fears wash away,
Every wind that blows my way,
You keep me steady through the wind,
You're the reason I'm warm throughout the storm.
The sound of your voice keeps me floating in this ocean,
When i start to sink you lift me back up,
You're my reason to keep hope,
Lets keep this love floating.
My Ship is SailingFinally letting a stream of broken memories sink away,
Just when I thought it was the end,
Along came floating a new beginning,
First I was hesitant,
But now I’m set out to sail the new horizons.
Can all these anchors release me from keeping me down?
I’ve never been one to do what I want,
Always have let my past keep me anchored down,
I’m tired the anchors chain keeping me stuck,
Oh, I’m ready to break through and sail away.
I’m ready to admit it,
Oh, this time can I admit it?
(No, no it’s too soon)
It tore me apart in the past,
But can I let it fade away?
It it time to be honest and take the risk?
Someone told me “You’re the happiest I’ve ever seen in months,
I promise you it’ll be worth the time,”
I can’t let my thoughts keep eating me away,
The feeling of his warmth has been my anti-depressant,
I’m ready to grab a hold of someone who makes me feel happy.
Rise and GoMonday June 30, 2014
Eyes wide open,
(Oh) It's going to be the death of me,
Why does life always leave me broken?
I stare at the girl in the mirror,
Her closest friend lies in her hand,
On my skin it will land,
I close my eyes hating the way I appear.
The question is "how deep do you go before it's real?"
To this day I feel like I'll never know,
When will this rise and go?
Depression has chose my life to steal.
Will I always believe what they all say?
Maybe I'll live to find out,
Or maybe an ambulance will song my life away,
My choices and happening will lead the route.
The voices repeat in my head,
I've gotten used to what they've said,
Will they ever disappear?
But you know those small moments of believe you're beautiful?
(Oh) Mine don't last that long,
My brain always comes back to reality knowing something's wrong,
My heart try's to stay truthful,
But it sometimes needs a getaway,
Truth is a place it's scared to always sta
No other fish in the seaEveryone says there's other fish in the sea,
She tells them they don't understand,
He was her sea.
In the beginning he stood out to her the most,
The things she sees,
The things she heard,
It all brings up thoughts of him.
Each kiss she's taken,
None were as perfect as his,
Each hug shes given or received,
They are far from perfect as his,
Each hand she's held,
None fit perfectly as his,
Each guy she's met,
Will never be as perfect as him.
The question of whyHe thought I didn't believe him,
He thought I was thinking he was lying,
Honestly I didn't want to believe it,
It only makes everything hurt more,
If he cares,
Why'd he tell me all those horrible things?
Why'd he keep throwing me around?
If he thought of me while with her,
Why isn't he mine?
If all the meaningful words he spoke were true,
Why can't we work this out?
Why can't I understand to move on?
All that remains is the question of why.
When you lose a best friendWhen we said friends forever and
crossed pinkies like grade-schoolers,
I could only believe those words
lodged in your heart
like they did mine
because every time I think back
I can't help but remember the
under star lit constellations,
and study sessions where we
learned more about each other
than we did Biology
but now it's clear
that each beat of your heart
has made those words fade,
and you could care less
about crossed pinkies
but I'll still see you,
and hear your voice
and I'll still wish
the meaning hadn't changed-
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are struggling
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
She's an artistShe's an artist.
Always seems to be daydreaming,
She draws to escape her pain.
Cause for a single moment,
When her work is done.
It seems like there is no more rain.
And she could finally touch the sun.
The one that shines so brightly in her paintings.
But then it's gone,
So she keeps drawing,
She's become good at escaping.
Running from reality.
Because dreams are the only things she wants,
Her imagination is the only thing she's ever known.
And it's sad really...
Because she tries so hard to be happy.
But the most beautiful thing she could ever create.
Was that smile upon her face,
And that is the one thing that remains blank.
Waiting to someday be something more than,
At peace within this tranquil garden,
I picture the moments where I've made you smile.
Those times are endlessly precious to me,
I think they're worth the while.
They're worth the time I've spent with you,
Even if it wasn't long.
I only wish I'd spent a little more,
Before our love was gone.
Mommy Is A Super HeroMommy Is A Super Hero
Standing before his class, he held his tiny report,
“Who is your super hero?” Was written in yellow chalk on the green board.
Exhaling his breath, the curly haired boy closed his little eyes,
“Don't be ashamed of yourself” His mother's words rung in his ears, “And don't ever cry.”
He began to read aloud, with a shaky voice.
to his class, he told his mother's story.
At age fifteen, she was a beauty queen,
the most beautiful girl in all of the world.
She flaunted her silky hair, bore her bare legs,
prided her breast. The boys treated her like she was a treasure chest.
They respected her rules, they “looked, but didn't touch”,
but there was one older man, who from her, wanted too much.
All alone he met her, he approached her in the alley,
and all his mother told him, was that this man had treated her badly.
But what the boy didn't know was that she was taken against her will,
and that two months later, she turned up ext
Still HereSuicide is a
Thought that frequently lurks
In my mind, wich
Lets it overcome the
Laughter and happiness
Here I still fight, however
Enduring this sad life
Reviving my hopes
Embracing the gift of life
cenotaph of stormsthe first thunderstorm
was triggered by a blunt pair
of scissors, sparking violently
against the lightning,
shaking in the wind.
the downpour pierced,
tattooed with no ink but
the dark bleakness
of an overcast morning,
infiltrating uniformed wrists.
hid behind the music block,
shaky raindrops rioting
fears, she fractured.
the second storm
wept a two year downpour
outline that dripped from wrist
to hip, sidelong silhouette glances
obscured by the rain.
stalictidal waves shuddered
frozen, until icy glass
fell in stained shards from
the stillness inside.
thinner, brittler, growing
in flurries of sleet and hail,
her outline was never filled,
though the floods threatened
the third thunderstorm
was a mist-ridden melancholia,
a dream for permanence
smeared in ink through
fueled by the hope
that just this once,
the rain would spark a
rebirth beneath the ground.
instead, a tsunami
washed away the ink
as tides so often do.
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
Blocking the thoughts"it's all a joke"
I want to go running for the danger.
"You know you need it"
I shake the thoughts away.
"your not really strong"
I turn my music up.
"Go ahead and grab it"
I throw it across my room.
"The pain is your medicine"
I turn the music up louder.
I pick my phone up,
And remember what i know is true.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More