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My Ship is SailingFinally letting a stream of broken memories sink away,
Just when I thought it was the end,
Along came floating a new beginning,
First I was hesitant,
But now I’m set out to sail the new horizons.
Can all these anchors release me from keeping me down?
I’ve never been one to do what I want,
Always have let my past keep me anchored down,
I’m tired the anchors chain keeping me stuck,
Oh, I’m ready to break through and sail away.
I’m ready to admit it,
Oh, this time can I admit it?
(No, no it’s too soon)
It tore me apart in the past,
But can I let it fade away?
It it time to be honest and take the risk?
Someone told me “You’re the happiest I’ve ever seen in months,
I promise you it’ll be worth the time,”
I can’t let my thoughts keep eating me away,
The feeling of his warmth has been my anti-depressant,
I’m ready to grab a hold of someone who makes me feel happy.
Rise and GoMonday June 30, 2014
Eyes wide open,
(Oh) It's going to be the death of me,
Why does life always leave me broken?
I stare at the girl in the mirror,
Her closest friend lies in her hand,
On my skin it will land,
I close my eyes hating the way I appear.
The question is "how deep do you go before it's real?"
To this day I feel like I'll never know,
When will this rise and go?
Depression has chose my life to steal.
Will I always believe what they all say?
Maybe I'll live to find out,
Or maybe an ambulance will song my life away,
My choices and happening will lead the route.
The voices repeat in my head,
I've gotten used to what they've said,
Will they ever disappear?
But you know those small moments of believe you're beautiful?
(Oh) Mine don't last that long,
My brain always comes back to reality knowing something's wrong,
My heart try's to stay truthful,
But it sometimes needs a getaway,
Truth is a place it's scared to always sta
No other fish in the seaEveryone says there's other fish in the sea,
She tells them they don't understand,
He was her sea.
In the beginning he stood out to her the most,
The things she sees,
The things she heard,
It all brings up thoughts of him.
Each kiss she's taken,
None were as perfect as his,
Each hug shes given or received,
They are far from perfect as his,
Each hand she's held,
None fit perfectly as his,
Each guy she's met,
Will never be as perfect as him.
The question of whyHe thought I didn't believe him,
He thought I was thinking he was lying,
Honestly I didn't want to believe it,
It only makes everything hurt more,
If he cares,
Why'd he tell me all those horrible things?
Why'd he keep throwing me around?
If he thought of me while with her,
Why isn't he mine?
If all the meaningful words he spoke were true,
Why can't we work this out?
Why can't I understand to move on?
All that remains is the question of why.
His whispers in my earThe voice in my head tells me it's all my fault,
I reach for the friend I used to be close to,
A distant voice whispers in my ear,
"You're stronger than this,"
Hands shake in confusion,
Which choice am I going to pick?
My head tells me "He's the one you let go,"
Tears explode into waves,
My anchor has exploded into thin air,
"Stop thinking this way, darling you're better than this" he whispers,
My stomach is severely tied into knots,
I push away the friend and stay assail at sea,
My head groans in an ache and I feel him smile through a whisper,
"I'm proud of you, cookie."
Late on the CueHe claims that I'm so strong,
Well I can only be so strong for so long,
The waves keep crashing in my heart,
It hurts to know that we're officially apart,
My thoughts keep me up through the night,
I wish I could have kept up the fight,
Would there have been any words to keep us alive?
I guess your heart wasn't able to survive,
You got tired of going through our storm,
You were ready to go somewhere warm,
All I wanted was to start new,
But I was too late to give you the cue.
Fade awayWhen I do sleep,
I dream of you,
Your arms holding me,
It shines as the rays of the sun,
Your fingers going through my hair,
The slow moment of feeling safe,
Then your lips kiss my forehead,
And you begin to fade away,
I put my hands out to catch you,
But you've already disappeared.
The sound of confusionHow am I supposed to move on?
When you are my other half.
My heart has fallen on the floor,
I no longer need it anymore,
Wishing I never screwed up,
Everything would seem better,
How can I stop myself from looking into your eyes and getting lost?
Your words spoken to me have meant more than you'll ever know,
You were always the sound I heard whispering in my ear when I did something wrong,
But how am I supposed to have the strength to listen to it?
You were always the life buoy to my motivation,
All my wounds are exposed,
What's going to be my bandaid strong enough to cover the wounds?
When will I know when this will end?
When will this damage be healed?
A broken recordBack and forth they went,
From Hellos to goodbyes,
I love you to I care about you,
She's heard this a thousand times,
And seen it all before,
She feels like this is a broken record,
With events happening over and over again,
She wants the record to be fixed,
But there's nothing to do but listen,
Listen closely to what could be left,
All you hear is the endless lyrics being repeated,
The thing you have feared most,
The broken record,
It had to be put away on a shelf,
The last lyrics ending,
"Goodbye to my love, and hello to the start of a thing I fear called friendship."
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
Blocking the thoughts"it's all a joke"
I want to go running for the danger.
"You know you need it"
I shake the thoughts away.
"your not really strong"
I turn my music up.
"Go ahead and grab it"
I throw it across my room.
"The pain is your medicine"
I turn the music up louder.
I pick my phone up,
And remember what i know is true.
Keep in Touch!